First Day of Spring Ukraine
Good morning. It is March 1st and today is the first day of spring! As I look out of my window, I see about an inch and a half of snow. Yes, you heard that right, it snowed last night. This is only the second accumulation that we’ve had here in Odessa this winter. The winter was mild until right around the first of January, and then we had 3 and a half weeks of ridiculously cold weather. In the last few days, the weather had warmed up, but last night we were treated to some snow. )))
I know that I am shocking you with the whole "welcome to spring” speech. However, in this culture, the first day of spring is the first of March. In our culture, the first day of spring has been celebrated on March 21st – coinciding with the vernal equinox. As you may or may not know, that date has been pushed back to March 20th over the past 5 springs for the Northren Hemisphere, and will be pushed back to the 19th of March starting next year. For more information as to why this is so, you can check out this link.
I digress. In the Russian speaking world, the first day of spring is March 1st. This is my third spring here, and my first spring, I just could not wrap my mind around this. Heck, for me, the first day of spring was a scientific change. In this culture, it is a celebration. Perhaps it is just something to get excited about after a long, cold winter. I know that each year I’ve been here, we’ve had at least one more snow after March first. I am sorry, I know I grew up in a city with a small town mentality – Cincinnati, Ohio – but for me, I just have a lot of difficulty connecting spring time with cold or snowy weather.
Of course, in Cincinnati, the entire month of April and parts of May were filled with rainy and cold weather. So, I can grasp 40 degrees and rainy. For my Ukrainian readers, 40 degrees Fahrenheit is about 4 degrees Celsius if you were wondering.
To the next topic, my back is finally doing better this morning. For the past two weeks, I have been walking like an 80 year old crooked man. I went to get CT scans on every region of my back and got an x-ray of my hips as well to see if my previously broken leg has had any effect on my back’s health over the past 3 years. However, last night, my back started feeling a little better, and this morning, I can actually sit here and type this communication without severe pain. That in and of itself is a miracle in my mind. I know the internet said that Lumbar herniated discs usually take care of themselves, but two weeks?? I thought it would never happen. I thought I would never feel better.
That does not mean that I will not do anything about my condition. I visited two neurologists and another doctor who specializes in herniated discs and they believe I can be helped through stretching, electric stimulation, massage, manipulation, and adjustments in a chiropractic way. I thank all of you for your continued support and suggestions. I will take all of your advice and put it to good use. I want to be healthy and be able to work out, exercise, move around, and be there for my future family life. )))
Now, to the part you are all interested in – my love life. Well, there are really only a couple of girls hanging around me. The one small, wonderful girl I had been talking about previously is only 23 years old. She is a doll and I am very lucky to have her in my life because she has helped me through this trying experience by hanging out with me at my home, helping me with shopping and cleaning which I couldn’t do on my own.
The second girl is a girl who just wants to remain friends with me. She took me to the doctor yesterday and it was pretty funny to watch her try to communicate since her English is not that good. But, I am appreciative to both of them and to all of the people in my life who have helped me recently. I had to take one day off of work from my English school, and most of my private students haven’t been around the past two weeks. 4 of them are out of town right now on business or vacation, but I have had to cancel some lessons because the pain was too severe. It’ll be nice to get back up to full speed and work like a man again.
The question I have for you is this….. if you have a girl you like hanging out with, are attracted to enough to have an electric physical/sexual connection but know you could not be with her long term, do you end this relationship?? Do you explain this to her if you are sure that she IS thinking long term that she’d like to marry you??? My inclination has always been to end it early so as to not hurt this girl any more than necessary. However, this is the first time that I am actually enjoying hanging out with a girl enough to keep her around. I have been honest with her about this desire and situation, but can see that she just doesn’t believe me. I am almost certain she is waiting for me to change my mind and see what a great girl that she is!
I DO SEE WHAT A GREAT GIRL SHE IS!!! That doesn’t mean that I would want to wake up next to her for the next two decades, marry her, or raise children with her. What do I do? What is the right thing to do? I will definitely have to have another conversation with her to clearly express my feelings or lack thereof. I want to give her the opportunity to find someone she can have everything she wants to have with since I know I am not her man. Of course, I have the other side of me that says, ‘she is only 23, she has plenty of time. Just enjoy this for once Vincent!’ — I can tell you that I am not very good and just sitting back, relaxing, and enjoying myself. I always need to be doing something, learning something, or accomplishing something. How do I feel about all of this??
I feel like the next step is communicating my thoughts and feelings clearly and honestly and openly without any possible deception or misunderstanding. I hate secrets. I do know that sometimes details need to be left out in order to spare someone’s feelings or for the purpose of appropriateness, but that does not mean I like secrets. In fact, I believe that secrets are the basis for the destruction of passion between two people. I spoke too soon. Upon standing up after writing this blog entry, my back was in pain and I was walking crooked again. Pray for me. ((( I wouldn’t wish this pain on my worst enemy.